We're hitting a particularly ugly stage in our household, where selfishness and jealousy abound.

Maddie won't share her new wings; Cora won't share her favorite Barbie's favorite swimsuit; Maddie illicitly reads Cora's new library book before Cora does, and then admits she did it even though she knew it was wrong; Cora purposefully takes waaaaay longer than her turn on the mini-trampoline.

We're working through this one baby-step at a time. Lots of talking, lots of praying, lots of scripture, lots of Parenting Tools use.

But I'm not so sure we'll all still be standing when this is all over. I just don't see how it's possible.

A couple months ago Cora experienced some “dire crisis” that sent her into a meltdown one fine afternoon. She’d asked for a couple holiday cookies and I’d said yes without checking our stash; a quick look into the cookie jar revealed only one cookie left. One.

“But Maddie had two of these cookies yesterday! I want two cookies!” Cora wailed, and burst into tears.

I stared at my daughter, a puddled mass of sobs on the floor, not trying to manipulate me into magically finding a second cookie – just unable to move past the fact that there was only one cookie to be had.

Now, in the past, I would have handled the situation like this:

Over the holidays I loosened my nutritional hold on my household quite a bit, and allowed more than a modicum of sugar to course through my children’s veins. I do love to bake, and don’t see how I can fill the house with goodies and then not allow the girls reasonably free rein with the cookie jar; I worry it’ll set them up to see the sweets as something forbidden and oh-so-desirable.

Likewise, as candy comes into the house from Christmas parties and gifts from friends, I can’t simply take the twenty cabillion candy canes and dump them in the trash. Ok, if I’m being truthful, more than a small amount of store candy DID end up in the trash, but my girls were pretty free to consume whatever they brought in the house – after checking with a grown-up, of course. And Maddie’s big request from Santa? A gumball machine filled with jelly beans.

I know.

A few months ago Maddie had a play date at a friend’s house, someone whose mother I only casually knew from school. When she returned home a few hours later, her eyes were shining with happiness. “I had the best play date EVER!” she cried. “When can I go over again?”

I smiled. “I’ll talk to your friend’s mom and see what we can set up! What was so fun about this play date?”

Maddie sparkled. “We watched television the whole time, and her mom let us eat a LOT of candy!”

Oh.