Because Madeleine was breech (despite my trying everything, from lying upside down to chiropractic help to acupuncture), I had a scheduled c-section.  As we talked over the procedure in my doctor’s office the day before, my husband Brian, who had been reading up on the procedure, asked my doctor what method she used to close the incision.  She paused, laughed, then said, “That depends.  Are you paid up?”

All right, I know I said I’d give myself three months of not worrying at all about what I look like, but it’s not working.  Isn’t all this stretchy tummy stuff supposed to just go, I don’t know, back in already???  What is all of it, anyway??  I asked my doctor at my 6-week checkup, and she just laughed at me, talking about loose skin and stretched muscles.  She's hiding something, I know it.