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Sleep Choices Summary


“American Baby” recently published a good
article
 summarizing three different “methods” of parenting and
dealing with the sleep issue: co-sleeping, scheduling, and
self-soothing. It’s up on their website now, and is a decent look at all
three ideas.

My girlfriend Bev was interviewed for the
co-sleeping part of the article. Her family is a fantastic example of
how attachment parenting works for some people. And for the record, her
son Danny is almost 2 years old now, and moved to his own bed recently
with no problem.

I wouldn’t be, well, me if I didn’t weigh in on
the article’s three methods, so here goes. 












I firmly believe newborn babies get a free pass for their first three
months of life. I think most families will look at co-sleeping in some
form, even if it’s an attached sleeper or a bassinet right by the bed.
I’ve yet to meet a family where Pumpkin spent every night of his life in
his own crib in his own room. If you do co-sleep and nurse on demand,
how long you do so is up to you and what works for your family.

As
far as the scheduling thing goes, please run, don’t walk, away from the
idea of scheduling a newborn. The AAP has issued statements against
scheduling infants, citing cases that cause Failure to Thrive. Like I
said, babies get a free pass those first months and should be fed on
demand and allowed to sleep when they want. For heaven’s sake, don’t
wake a sleeping baby just because it’s “time” unless he’s a preemie and
needs to eat a lot or something! There will be plenty of time to bend
your children to your will later on – when they’re, say, six months
instead of six weeks. You can gradually encourage your child to even
out her eating times or sleep more at night without ignoring her hungry
cries while saying, “It’s not time for her to eat for 20 more minutes,
so she just needs to get over it.”

And I’m not saying
ROUTINES are bad. I think routines are the best thing for babies since
the Gymini playmat. Routines – having predictable things happen in a
predictable order – make babies feel safe and comfortable. Don’t you
like knowing what comes next in your day? We’ve worked hard on our
routine and try to stay with it at all possible. But I acknowledge that
I probably won’t expose my child to a freak lightening storm just
because “This is the time of day when we go outside.” And the older
your infant gets – again, around 3 or 4 months is the STARTING POINT –
the more they’ll have wants and not just needs and you can choose to
give them those wants, or not. I’m just saying please, please don’t try
to force your two-week-old’s life to bend around your addiction to Law
and Order.

As far as the self-soothing thing goes, you know I’m a
Ferber girl. Please note that while the article mentions leaving babies
to cry at as young as six weeks, Ferber recommends not doing so until
six months. Again, first three months of baby’s life – free pass.

So
again, enjoy the article – it’s a good way to get a feel for the
different ideologies. But remember that no one can parent your child as
well as you can.

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