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TMX = Too Much eXcitement

Unless you’ve been living under a
rock with no television for the past few months, I’m sure
you’re aware of the latest, must-have Elmo for this holiday
season – the TMX Elmo. Celebrating Tickle Me Elmo’s
10th anniversary, this version leaves all other Tickle Me’s
in the dust. He falls over. He screams with laughter. He rolls on
his side, kicking and screaming. And then he stands up and begs you
not to tickle him again.

Given our daughter’s current href="http://www.1mother2another.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=412&Itemid=46">
(thanks one more time Uncle Daniel) with the
Red Guy, and the fact that we saw a TMX “performance”
online and thought it was pretty dang funny ourselves, Brian and I
cautiously jumped on the TMX bandwagon. We decided we’d keep
our eyes open for one, though we drew the line at paying above
retail price: no buys on Ebay, we vowed. We joined forces with my
friend Ingrid, who was also searching for a TMX for her daughter
Naomi. The two of us agreed to keep our ears open, and whoever
found them first would buy for both of us, if possible.

Apparently, Ingrid’s network is
better than mine, because she called one recent morning with the
news that a Toys R Us had just gotten 30 of them in stock.
Disgruntled because I had called the same store the night before
and been told they weren’t expecting any shipments any time
soon, I nonetheless sprang into action. As Ingrid was without a
car, Brian and Maddie and I made it into our vehicle less than 60
seconds after the phone call, Brian coming along in case there was
a limit of one per customer, so he could pick up Ingrid’s.

Safely back home with our precious purchases twenty
adrenaline-filled minutes later, I called Ingrid and told her to
come over for our previously scheduled playdate. What were her
first words upon arrival?

“Have you played with it yet?”

Shocked, I primly replied that no, I certainly hadn’t; the
TMX is for Christmas! Stunned, Ingrid said, “You’re not
going to open it until CHRISTMAS???”

Apparently, my friend is actually eight years old and has no
self-control. Ten minutes after she came in the door, her own Elmo
was open and on the table. And I’ll admit, a part of me was
glad she couldn’t wait; I was dying to see Maddie’s
reaction to her crazy friend.

Alas, it was not the one I had hoped for.

When the new Elmo was set on our coffee table, Maddie’s eyes
lit up at the sight of her friend. As we pushed the appropriate
place on his body, she stared expectantly: what would her silly
friend do now? Unfortunately, this is what she saw:

Maddie’s friend falls over. Maddie’s friend starts
screaming uncontrollably. Maddie’s friend begins writhing, as
if in great pain.

My daughter’s eyes got wider and wider as she watched Elmo
become more and more tortured, until she was climbing into my lap
and crying, “No no no!” She alternated between trying
to pick Elmo up and stop the convulsions, and trying to hide from
his agony by burying her face in my shoulder.

Yep, I’ve got the only kid in America who’s scared
spitless by TMX Elmo.

The good thing is, we know this now and won’t discover it on
Christmas morning. And yes, we’re still holding on to it and
tentatively planning on giving it to her. We’re hoping
she’ll mature exponentially in a month and by December 25
she’ll realize he’s having fun, not dying.

The bad news is that he has now colored all the Elmos she sees. The
day she watched the TMX convulse, she went back to her Twist N
Shout in relief. And she still picks up her stuffed Elmo and
carries him all around. But at our most recent playdate, Naomi
brought over her Hokey Pokey Elmo, which was apparently too similar
to the TMX now: Maddie once again began screaming “No no
no” and crying. Thinking to comfort her with a
“happy” Elmo, I turned on the Twist N Shout.

You guessed it – more screaming and crying. All the
battery-operated Elmos in our house are officially turned off.

Sigh. We’ve got the hottest toy on the block, and she
doesn’t want it.

Well, maybe she’ll enjoy playing with the box.


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