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A Woman Scorned's Got Nothing On An Angry Mama

So Ingrid and I were in the park last week
watching our girls play, as we do every day. We noticed a small
film crew in the corner but didn’t think much of it.
Ingrid’s daughter Naomi wandered over to the rainbow
fountain, which was turned off due to cool weather, and began
happily banging on it with her Dora doll while Maddie ran around
collecting rocks for her stroller (don’t ask).

Ingrid and I were busily gabbing –er, exchanging mothering
tips – and had half an eye on what the girls were doing. When
Naomi began banging Ingrid’s back was to her, but I saw a
production assistant from the film crew run over, grab Naomi by the
arm, and start hissing, “No no no, little girl. You
can’t do that right now.” And without thinking of the
consequences, I blurted out, “Oh, no she DIDN’T just do
that to Naomi!”

Ingrid’s head whipped around just in
time to witness the end of the scene and I swear I saw my
friend’s feathers puff up immediately. She went from my
friend -Happy Ingrid- to Angry, Fiery Latina Mommy in two seconds
flat as she flew over there. “ExCUSE me? What are you doing
to my daughter?”

The self-important film student began explaining with righteous
indignation that they were trying to make a Very Important Student
Film and Naomi needed to be quiet.

I’m going to draw a curtain over the next few minutes of the
conversation and leave it to your imagination. Suffice it to say
that words were exchanged and at the end of it, Ingrid was so mad
she was sweating, while the whole time I was standing in the middle
murmering, “Ok, let’s just stay calm here.”
Self-Important Film Student huffed back to her location set and I
coaxed the bull –er, Ingrid – away from the red flag
–er, film student. Let me say for the record, too, that as
angry as my friend got, she never once cursed in front of her kid.
Which, if you had seen the color of her face, would have impressed
you as well. Setting aside the liability issue of the film student
actually touching Naomi, the appropriate –and humane –
thing would have been to seek out the child’s mommy and
address the issue with her, rather than try to boss/reason with a
2-year-old. But how was the film student to know? She didn’t
look like she had a lot of, um, maternal instincts.

And at the end of the whole thing, I pitied the poor film student.
I wanted to go over there, take her gently aside, and say,
“Look, I know this is a big deal for you and feels very
important. But there’s one thing Columbia Film School
doesn’t teach on their curriculum, and it’s a big one.
It’s called, ‘How To Get Along With the Locals On A
Location Shoot’.

And rule number one is, Never Tick Off A Mama. We'll make he'lls
fury look like a toddler's temper tantrum.


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