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All By Myself (Don't Wanna Live)

So Brian’s heading off for a long
weekend and I’ve been freaking out for, oh, a few months now.
He’s best man for a wedding and with us moving into month 5
of unemployment, tickets for everyone just wasn’t in the

Which means Mommy’s home alone.

Listen, I know there are lots of single
moms out there. There are even more moms whose husbands leave the
house for hours at a time to go to work, leaving the mommies home
alone with multiple children, and yet somehow these women survive.
I know I’m a strong, talented woman who can do anything.

I am woman, hear me roar.

But yikes.

I’ve already had dozens of conversations with Brian, telling
him everything that went wrong while he was gone and how he SO owes
me a total spa day as soon as we start getting money coming in
again. I’ve chewed him out for not saying “thank
you” enough, or praising how well I kept both of his
daughters alive while he was gone. And I’ve ripped him up and
down for walking in after several nights of NOT HAVING TO WAKE UP,
several meals of NOT HAVING TO FEED ANYONE BUT HIMSELF, sitting
down in front of the television, and asking what’s for dinner
while I stare in hollow-eyed disbelief.

All of these conversations have been in my head, of course, since
he hasn’t yet gone. I’m just assuming he’ll be
insensitive and uncaring and I’ll feel put upon and taken for
granted. So I’m practicing my speeches now. I believe in
being prepared.

I guess in the interest of full disclosure, I should also mention
that I won’t technically be left all by myself for those
days. I mean, my mommy’s going to take some half days at work
to cut my days up for me. And of course, be here all weekend. And
of course, sleep over.

All right, I guess I can’t really complain.

But when has that ever stopped me?

Tune in next week to hear how the all-girls, all-the-time thing
worked out.


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