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They'll Know We Are Mommies By Our Tans

Hi everyone – I’m back!

We went for a few days in a friend’s house on the Jersey
shore – family vacation, cheap style. I’d meant to warn
you all of this, and in fact wrote a blog right before I hopped in
the car to head out, figuring I could post once I got there. But I
arrived to find I had no way of posting, and so was out of touch
for a few days. Thanks to those who wrote making sure the girls
were ok – we were all getting some quality family time!

So coming up is what you should have read on Monday –
I’ll fill you in on how it went tomorrow.

We’re heading off for a couple days
at the Jersey shore, compliments of a friend of ours, and
I’ve been in the process of packing my swim gear in the hopes
that the sun will stay another few days before officially deserting
us for the fall.

I’m sure there’s a big blog in here about the sheer
amount of gear required to take a toddler and an infant away for a
couple nights, but you’ll have to wait until I get back for
that one. Today I’m fixated on something else – my tan.

I pulled out every swimsuit I’ve got and tried them all on,
figuring out which ones have a prayer of squeezing over my
post-partum body. And as if this process weren’t humiliating
enough, I notice I’ve got this weird uneven tan thing going

Let me add, too, that every day when Maddie and I hit the park, I
slather on the sunscreen – arms, face, chest, legs. So I
should have avoided the typical “farmer” tan, and
indeed, my lower legs are the same color as my upper legs, just as
my shoulders are no paler than my forearms.

However, two parts of my body are significantly darker than others
– the backs of my hands, and a stripe across my feet.

Puzzled, I sat down to figure out where this tan came from. Feet
are easy – I don’t put much sunscreen on the tops of
them, and the stripe mysteriously matches the sandals I wore every
day to the park for the summer. I guess I should have realized that
since feet tops face straight to the sky, they’ll get more
sun than my shins.

And this gave me the clue to figure out the backs of my hands. Yes,
I’ve got stroller hands. Think about it – the back of
your hands face up as you walk around pushing the stroller all day!
So no matter that I put on sunscreen, my hands are definitely a
shade darker than my arms.

And I know I’m not along – I sneaked a look at the
other moms at the playground today and they’ve got the same
two-tone thing going on. It’s subtle, but it’s there.

So look out, mommies! Get diligent with the sunscreen! And use this
knowledge to your advantage – it’s like having a secret
handshake or something, to identify you to a fellow mommy. A
secret, tanned handshake.

I’m off! See you in a couple days – hopefully a little
more evenly colored.


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