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Addicted to High-Fructose Corn Syrup

At the risk of sounding like a broken
record going on and on about Cora’s (lack of) sleep habits:


Honestly now. She’s approaching eight months old, and
I’m once again back to being up every one or two hours a
night. We’ll sleep-train her, letting her cry it out, for a
night and she’ll sleep maybe six hours in a row the next
night. My body will actually go into a deep enough sleep for
dreaming and I’ll begin to think those bags under my eyes
might go away.

And then she’s back to her old tricks again a couple nights

I’ve put my foot down on the nursing
thing – I nurse Cora to sleep at 9 p.m. and refuse to nurse
her again until 5 a.m. So it’s not like I have to sit up with
her and nurse every two hours. But she still wakes up crying, and I
still have to go in to her.

Cora’s developed enough to be able to put her pacifier back
into her mouth if she can find it – yes, my kid’s
getting addicted to her pacifier, but I can only deal with so much
at one time. So that’s not the source of the cries;
oftentimes I’ll go in, give her the pacifier and the cries
will continue. It’s not until I lay my hand on her stomach
and simply hover over the crib that she’ll calm down.
She’ll clutch my fingers with both fists, hiccupping, until
she finally calms down and starts to go to sleep. I’ll
finally extricate myself and sneak out, but if she’s not out
she begins wailing again as soon as she senses the Mommy Presence
is gone. And even if she does go to sleep, she’s awake again
an hour or two later with just one burning question:

Where the heck is my mother?

Yes, Cora’s got a raging case of separation anxiety and
it’s killing me. Sure, I can leave after making sure
she’s ok. Sure, she’ll cry herself to sleep, though
sometimes that can take an hour or two. But whether she falls
asleep by herself or not, every time she wakes up she wants to be
with me. I’m absolutely certain that if I simply brought her
into bed with us she’d sleep twelve hours straight.
Unfortunately for my sleep, I’m not ready to do that since I
know it’ll be years before I get her back out.

My girl just loves her some mommy, and there’s nothing I can
do. But it means I’m staggering around blearily during the
day, chugging root beer when naptime comes around and I’ve
got to get work done while the girls sleep and popping chocolates
at night to try to get some more packing in before going to bed.
I’m not sure how much longer I can sustain this pace, and
only the thought of the hell my life would be if Cora was on
caffeine is keeping me from downing a can of coke.

To reinforce just how out of whack my point of view has become,
here’s an actual conversation that occurred between me and
Abby today:

Abby: “Hey, how did the sleep go last night?”

Me: “Actually it was pretty good last night. I got to bed
around 12:30, and then Cora got up at 1, 2, 4:30, 7, and 8 before
getting up for good at 9 a.m.”


Abby: “That doesn’t sound very good to me.”

You see, I was thinking of those long stretches between 2 and 4:30,
and then again between 4:30 and 7. I got over 2 hours of sleep in a
row twice last night, which is a highlight for me. How pathetic is

Hopefully this will pass soon. We’re going in for a well-baby
visit this week and maybe the pediatrician will have a suggestion.

Until then, keep the root beer flowing.


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