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Shattered

Madeleine’s a girl who likes her
order, her routine, the sameness to her life. So she’s a bit
apprehensive about the upcoming move and we’ve been talking
extensively with her about it, explaining what will happen, and
getting her excited about the future.


In an attempt to make the transition easy for her we’re
working to have her new room as similar as possible to her current
room: same paint color, same curtains, same layout, everything. One
of Maddie’s favorite parts of her room is the light fixture
– it’s a pink chandelier that’s original to the
house and was made in the early 30’s. When we first moved in
here I noticed it languishing in the basement and carefully set it
aside, vowing to use it if we ever had kids. Then Madeleine came
along and we had the wiring updated and the lovely thing put up in
her pretty pink room.



Maddie talks about it regularly and points
it out to visitors, so we know it’s important to her, which
is why when we sold the house we made sure the chandelier could
come with us. We’ve been explaining to Maddie that someone
would be coming by to take her light down and put a different one
up so we could pack hers away and bring it with her to Texas. She
hasn’t been thrilled but understands it’s necessary.


So today we had the electrician come to do the switch, and I
gathered the girls in my room while he worked in Maddie’s.
Not two minutes after he started, I heard a huge crash from
Maddie’s room.


Followed by, “Uh-oh.”


I cannot describe the fear in my heart as I left the girls in my
room and went to see what happened. There, on Maddie’s carpet
and bed, lay the chandelier in hundreds of pieces. Which is the
point at which I screamed, “Are you $#@$ KIDDING me?”


“I dropped it,” he said feebly.


“Ya THINK?” I came back.


“It slipped.”


“Are you $#@$ KIDDING me?”


Yes, the light fixture is a total loss. No, I can’t find
another. Maddie didn’t cry, but she’s been upset and
has talked about it all day. We explained gently to her that we
tried to bring it but it accidentally broke.


“But WHY did he break it?”


“Honey, it was an accident.”


“I really really wish he hadn’t broked it.”


Me too.


I know in the grand scheme of things this one light fixture is no
big deal, and Maddie will get over it and soon not even remember
it. For me, though, it was the one thing of New York we were
bringing with us – from old house to new house, the only item
like this that would make the crossover. And my heart hurts to have
to leave it behind.


The electrician, of course, feels horrible, especially after seeing
Maddie’s face, and he’s working on finding someone to
make a reproduction of it at no charge. Otherwise, we’ve told
Maddie we’ll get to Texas and let her go pick out her own new
chandelier.


We have a perfectly new white light in the room right now, but
Maddie doesn’t like it. I was apprehensive when she first
went in and looked around. “Well, kiddo, what do you
think?”


“I really wish they hadn’t broked my pink light.”


“I know, honey, but isn’t this one nice?”


“Well, it’s ok, but it isn’t pink. It
doesn’t match the rest of my room. My whole room is pretty
pink and my old light matched it and this one doesn’t
match.”


Which was the point at which I knew she was going to get over it.
As long as the next one coordinates she’ll be fine.


I, on the other hand, will grieve and move on. Much like I’m
doing over everything else in this move.

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