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A Milestone Only A Parent Would Brag About

So Maddie woke up yesterday morning
moaning and saying her stomach hurt. A few minutes later she cried
that she had to throw up, and I picked her up and ran her into the
bathroom. It turned out to be a false alarm, but as I tucked her
back into bed (after laying out several layers of waterproof pads
and towels underneath her) I also grabbed the kidney-shaped
hospital bowl you’re given when you need to puke in the
hospital. We snuggle under the covers and read books together until
Cora woke up and I went in to get her.

When I returned to Maddie’s room,
she was sitting up holding the bowl underneath her mouth.
“Mommy, I need to throw up!” she wailed, before making
good on her promise. Cora stood by the side of the bed, watching
with great interest and providing side commentary.

Now here’s the amazing thing – this was the first time
in Maddie’s life that I did not have to change sheets or
pajamas or parental clothing after Maddie threw up. She knew what
was coming, and got everything in the bowl.

After this awful start to the day Maddie milked it for all it was
worth, lying on the toddler bed we drag out when she’s sick
and watching videos all day long. After a couple hours, it was
clear she was feeling better.

Now, I’m not writing about this so you’ll see that we
are YET AGAIN sick over here, or so that you’ll pray as
you’ve never prayed before that Cora doesn’t catch this
since she’s not so good about getting it into the bowl. No,
I’m commenting on this because I saw the light at the end of
the parental vomit tunnel. I foresee a future with Maddie that
doesn’t involve (TMI coming up) picking chunks out of her
hair, or wiping vomit off her back where it dribbled down her neck
from throwing up lying down. My child has learned what it feels
like right before you throw up, and can recognize the signs and
contain her own mess. Best. Day. Ever.

And what’s worse than me devoting an entire blog to this
subject is that I spoke with three girlfriends throughout the day,
and regaled them with the tale of Maddie’s brilliant throw-up
session as if I was bragging about her taking her first steps.

And what’s even worse than that is that all three girlfriends
were impressed. And as I finally understood that I’d just
told a TMI story to waaaaaaay too many people that day, I realized
something –

Only a parent would be that proud of a child’s vomit control.
Apparently, nothing is off-limits to bragging rights.


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