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Lord Save Me From Night-Night Time

The following is a list of the actual
questions Maddie asked me last night, in the actual order they were
asked, when I went in to snuggle her for night-night time:

“How did the dinosaurs die?”

“That’s not what Daddy said. Why is your answer
different from Daddy’s?”

“If a big rock was coming from outer space, couldn’t
they see it coming and get out of the way?”

“Why does everyone ride a camel in the desert? I don’t
get it – they’re in ALL the pictures! Whatever happened
to a good pony ride?”

“What does a Tyrannosaurus Rex use first – his little
front paws or his big teeth?”

“Why does a Stegosaurus have armor if it doesn’t work
against a Tyrannosaurus Rex? What’s the point?”

“If I see a Tyrannosaurus Rex, should I stand still and hope
he doesn’t see me, or should I run away? I’m pretty

“Why did Veruca Salt disobey Willy Wonka?”

“Why did the squirrels think Veruca was a bad nut? She
didn’t have a shell on her!”

“Would a glacier be as tall as the house? If it moves so
slowly, couldn’t the dinosaurs just get out of the

“How come all the kids in ‘Charlie and the Chocolate
Factory’ are so rude?”

And finally, the jewel in the crown as I was inching painfully
towards the door –

“Mom, Mike TeeVee is really annoying. He’s always
interrupting and asking annoying questions every time Wonka says,
‘No more questions, please!’ Why does he ask so many

“No more questions, please!” I said cheerfully and made
my escape.

Maybe limiting television isn’t the problem; maybe I should
be limiting her book time. Or at least take away her copies of
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Danny and the Dinosaur, and The
Missing Mummy Mystery.


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