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What Hideous Beast Hath I Awakened?

Remember how I said yesterday that
Cora’s sort of fallen into potty training, and that every
time she goes pee on the potty she gets an M&M?

Yeah, Cora peed in the potty five times yesterday. Before lunch.

And tried unsuccessfully to pee an additional ten times. Before

My girl is nothing if not addicted to
chocolate, and she has a single goal in mind – to eat as many
M&Ms as she possibly can. So Cora will sit on the toilet and
wheeze and moan and grunt and groan until something comes out, run
and get her M&M, let it dissolve in her mouth, and then hit the
toilet for another try within sixty seconds of the M&M being

That girl is determined, so she is often able to squeeze out a few
drops, and she hasn’t yet really learned the whole lying
thing so I’d give her the benefit of the doubt if she told me
she really had, but in the end I had to stand by the door and
listen, she was going so often. Sure enough, I’d hear a
tinkle, followed by a triumphant “Mommy! I peed in the potty!
Let’s get my M&M!”

The irony here is that I think we’re actually going through
MORE diapers than before; she’ll realize she needs to pee
sometimes a little late, so we’ll have a barely wet diaper we
remove and have to discard. I’m just not the kind who can put
a soggy – even slightly – diaper back on a girl,
especially one so prone to diaper rash. Before we began the Great
M&M Experiment, Cora would go through maybe four diapers a day
– yesterday we probably put on eight or nine new ones.
It’s as if she’s a newborn all over again.

At least she can take her own diaper off; we spent all morning at
home playing dress-up, and whenever she’d feel the urge
she’d start stripping as she ran, the tell-tale sound of the
Velcro ripping as she got into the bathroom. But I’m telling
you, that kid’s going to finish all her leftover Halloween
candy before the weekend.

And don’t get me started on the whole
pooping-for-a-Hershey-Kiss thing. Yes, I’m aware of the irony
of offering a poop-shaped chocolate for a successful bowel
movement, but the girl wants what she wants.

And frankly, I’ve got a whole bag leftover from Christmas and
Momma’s got to save money on this thing.


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