Welcome to my Weblog!
Welcome to 1 Mother 2 Another! To read my most recent weblog entries, scroll down. To read entries from one category, click the links at right. To read my journey from the beginning, click here. To find out more about me, click here.
Top 5s
Short on time? Click here to go to my Top 5s Page - links to my top five recommendations in every category from Breastfeeding Sites to Urban Living Solutions.

Learning To Stay Back

Maddie’s going through a tough time
right now – a sort of emotional growing pain, if you will.
And it’s been hard for me to stand back and let it happen,
when my instinct is to rush in and fix things. I know, though, that
this is something she has to work through on her own – some
lessons, I know well, can only be learned the hard way.

Maddie is moody. She cries and melts down.
She doesn’t handle disappointment well. And over a month ago
we realized there was something bigger going on, and we needed to
stop treating each episode on a case-by-case basis and try to see
the bigger picture. School has been incredibly hard to assimilate
into her life, no doubt about it. My daughter the introvert gets
out exhausted, and by Friday she’s a puddle. And as Maddie
has struggled to bend to all her new rules, she fights against all
the limitations and restrictions put on her. So she’s
physically and mentally wiped out, but still craving time with her

Which often doesn’t go well. Maddie’s friends,
unfortunately, bear the brunt of Maddie’s fatigue, and her
playdate manners have taken a distinct nosedive. I’ve tried
to talk through situations with Maddie, put new routines in place
to help give her space and breathing room, but there’s only
so much I can do. I can’t follow her around on the
playground, cautioning her to stop and think and be kind to her
friends; nor can I trail her friends with a constant patter of,
“Please don’t take it personally – what Maddie
REALLY meant by that was just . . .”

So Maddie’s friends are bewildered, which is understandable
since they’re going through all the same new stuff Maddie is.
And I see her changing the shape of her friendships and my heart
hurts for her. I know she’s starting to lay down permanent
patterns for how she handles friends, how she interacts with
people. And I don’t want those patterns to be
self-destructive or passive-aggressive. But there’s only so
many times I can step in, or Monday-morning quarterback with her.

Stepping back right now seems to be my only option. That, and
holding her when she cries.


Post a Comment

House Rules

Here are the rules for posting comments on 1mother2another.com. Posting a comment that violates these rules will result in the comment’s deletion, and you’ll probably be banned from commenting in the future.

1) Register first. If you would like to post a comment, you must create an account with us. Check out the home page to do so.

2) Constructive comments only. If you cannot maintain a respectful tone in your posting, even in disagreement, your comment will be deleted. We’re all trying to find our way in this thing and are struggling to be the best moms we can. If you disagree with something I say, feel free to politely email me. If you disagree with another reader’s posting, you’re welcome to kindly post in reply. Vitriolic diatribes will be deleted. This site is about encouraging and supporting, not tearing down and chastising.

3) Questions welcomed. If an entry raises a question, you’re welcome to email me directly or post it. Keep in mind that postings will result in public replies by strangers and not just me.

4) Don’t steal. All original writings contained within this website are under copyright protection. If you link to us, please credit us as your source and provide a link back to our website. If you're interested in using an excerpt in published material, please contact us.

5) Share your photos! We'd love to have photos from our registered readers to show on our home page under "Maddie's friends". Email us a jpeg of your little one's best photo to photos@1mother2another.com. Please, no photos from professional photographers which fall under copyright protection.