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Panty Party At The Mouse House

That’s right, folks, we are
officially a diaperless household. Well, at least we will be when
I’ve freecycled all the leftover diapers we’ve got
lying around. But officially there is not a single person under
this roof who uses diapers.

Yeah, we’re awesome.

Cora had her Potty Party Day on Thursday,
with lots of nakedness and drinking (juice boxes) and potty drills.
Cora had a perfect day. At first I was calling potty drills –
where she was required to run and try to pee whether she thought
she needed to or not – about every half hour or hour at the
most. Then I started spreading them apart a bit, until Cora was
asking a bit desperately, “Mommy, don’t you want to
call a potty drill now?”

Friday we stayed in panties and ventured out of the house a bit,
hitting the grocery store in the morning. Though we had a drill
right before we left the house, I didn’t calculate in the
milk she drank while at the store, and after we got home she began
playing and ended up with her first accident. Not discouraged, she
got back on the horse and kept going.

Saturday we were out and about most of the day and Cora was
awesome, willingly running for potty drills at different stores. So
Saturday afternoon I officially called it, and phoned around to our
inner circle to set up her Panty Party.

Which leads us to Sunday.

Saturday night Cora went to bed barely able to contain her
excitement over her impending Panty Party: “I’m a big
girl! I wear panties now!” and wriggling with excitement. At
Sunday school she shyly announced it to her teacher and glowed with
pride the whole morning. Right after church we hastened off to the
big party, stopping only for cupcakes and balloons.

And then we were there – Chuck E. Cheese, official home to
all Milner girl panty parties. Sure it was sleeting and snowing
outside, but inside it was all artificial cheesey goodness.
Cora’s friends were gathered round for pizza and cupcakes and
we played games way into the afternoon. “Happy, um, Panty
Day!” Sam said to Cora, clearly not quite understanding what
was going on but more than happy to be at the Mouse House.
“I’m wearing big-girl panties!” Cora announced to
the Mouse Himself, starting to show him before I intervened. We had
balloons. We had artificially-colored frosting on our cupcakes. It
was heaven. And afterwards, for the piece de resistance, Cora went
lingerie shopping at Target, walking out with two packs of
never-before-worn, non-hand-me-down panties. She insisted on
carrying them herself, no bag, thank you.

You may wonder why we have a panty party and spend a not small
amount of money on this. It’s a fair question, and the best
answer is that my kids have learned how to milk the system. Cora
and Maddie consumed mass quantities of candy over several months in
the name of potty training, and I needed a way to officially put an
end to the Sugar Train. So we have a panty party, and after the
party there’s no candy for using the potty, no rewards
system, no toys or earned extra stuff. It’s the bat mitzvah
of potty training, if you will, and my kids take it very seriously.
And let me tell you, it works - Cora magically stopped demanding
candy for excretion on Sunday.

We’ve collected all our diapers to hand on to younger kids,
and will soon be putting our changing table up for grabs. The last
step in the Milner girl transition from babyhood to girlhood is
changing table removal; in its place comes a full-size dressing
table or vanity. Cora’s vanity has been sitting in our
basement in New York, then garage here, for many years – it
was my mom’s when she was a teenager. Cora’s spied it
in our garage and is ready to move it in, already planning the
treasures she’ll store in its drawers.

My baby’s growing up! And let me tell you, there is nothing
cuter than that hiney in a pair of panties. The Crooked Hiney never
looked so good.


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