1 Mother 2 Another

I don’t know about you, my
friends-across-the-globe, but my house began preparing for
Valentines Day around, oh, the middle of January. For whatever
reason, it’s one of my daughters’ favorite holidays;
I’d like to think it’s because of their passionate love
for their fellow men, but I suspect it has more to do with the
abundance of chocolate being handed out. For a household that shops
pretty exclusively at farmers’ markets and Whole Foods, the
glut of Hershey kisses and Sweethearts falling from the sky must
seem not unlike manna from heaven all those thousands of years ago,
and Valentines Day rivals only Halloween in its possibility –
nay, promise – of high fructose corn syrup for everyone.


To be fair, my daughters have just as much fun preparing and giving
gifts as they do receiving them, and they’ve been painting
and drawing and writing and crafting lo these many weeks now. And I
try hard to act like most other moms and not wrinkle my nose at the
Sweet Tarts or the weird-tasting little hearts with words on them,
because I don’t want my kids to be complete outcasts at such
a young age.


Plenty of time for that later.

So when the girls asked if they could put
a piece of candy on their Valentine cards for some friends, I said
yes. And I even let them put on some peppermint Hershey Kisses we
had left over from Christmas (hey, they’re still good.) and
didn’t buy the Whole Foods 365 Brand-version.


Ooh, is there one?


No, we did it. And Cora is giving away Scratch-N-Sniff Valentines
that are coated in what I am sure are phthalate-filled scent
pockets. And when I go to their schools for their respective
parties and watch all the kids rip open the cards, I won’t
even try to remind them to recycle all that paper, for
heaven’s sake. I have to let my daughters dabble their toes
in the mainstream current sometimes, after all.


I do see evidence, though, that I am rubbing off on my girls. I
told them we could make something to give away to a few friends,
and asked what they’d like to do, thinking it’d be
something like “rice krispie treats” or
“cookies”.


“Well,” Cora, my four-year-old said, “I’d
sure like to try those lotion bars you told us about a while
ago.” “Ooh, yeah!” Maddie said, “And
I’d like to make a few melted crayon hearts from recycled
crayons!”


Be still my heart. They had me at “lotion bars”.


So last week we made these awesomehref="http://www.crunchybetty.com/how-to-make-lotion-bars"
target="_blank">lotion bars from one of my favorite
sites, target="_blank">Crunchy Betty (and Leslie, yes, you, I
swear this post was written before you emailed me – just had
to drop that promise in here!). I’d earmarked them over the
holidays and when I found some heart-shaped silicone molds at a
thrift store for ninety-nine cents, it seemed like a match made in
granola heaven. They are a hard lotion bar, perfect for little
hands to rub on dry winter skin. Many nights Cora complains that
her legs are itchy, and while I love watching a four-year-old try
to scratch adorably through some flannel footie pjs as much as the
next person, I wanted to find something that Cora could use herself
while not greasing up her entire room. The girls got to choose
which scent they put into the lotion bars – Maddie chose
jasmine essential oil while Cora went with vanilla.


The bars have been a big hit; Cora’s handed a couple out to
friends already and I even caught her explaining – and
demonstrating – how and when to use them to one of her
friends. Which was cute enough, but then her friend ran up to her
mom and said, “Mommy, can I go put some pjs on? My legs are
itching and I need to rub them with my heart” and made it
that much more adorkable.


We then turned our attention to the crayon hearts: crayon bits of
different colors, heated at low heat in a silicone mold until they
run together and then, when cooled, make a truly psychedelic
crayon. We’ve made a few of those: Cora assiduously peels the
crayon bits while Maddie arranges them in a mold, both of them
carefully stacking the paper wrapper shreds in a neat pile to the
side.


Later on, I started to clean up and sweep the paper bits into the
recycling bin. Maddie frowned and slapped her hand down on the
counter to stop me. “Mom, what are you doing? These paper
bits aren’t ready to be recycled; can’t you see
I’m using them to make jewelry? They’re still
useful!” And she shook her head and actually tsk’d me
as she went back to stringing wrapper remnants on curling ribbon.


Perhaps I don’t have to worry about my daughters becoming too
mainstream.

Ok, so that’s probably not the most
flattering title, but it’s the best I could come up with.
Hopefully you know what I mean. I’m not talking about giving
gifts to people you don’t really care about – those are
gifts, to me, best left un-given, money and energy better directed
elsewhere. But that’s a blog for another day.


No, when I talk about peripheral gift-giving, I mean all the people
in your life that you want to recognize and honor in some small
way, but that you may not know well enough to come up with a truly
personal gift. I’m thinking of preschool teachers, Sunday
school volunteers, soccer coaches or ballet teachers, even mothers
you don’t know well in your large mom’s group.
I’ve polled (very unscientifically) several friends of mine
who are teachers, and found out what they like and what
doesn’t work so well.

First up – gift cards. We always
want to say “thank you” but hate to spend money on
something they won’t like or will simply pass on to someone
else. That’s probably why hands-down the gift I kept hearing
mentioned was gift cards. Everyone I talked to said receiving a
gift card with several possibilities is awesome. A gift card to
somewhere like Target, for example, could be used to buy family
groceries, school supplies for an out-of-budget art project, or a
cute new t-shirt. One friend of mine doesn’t drink coffee but
loved getting some homemade biscotti with a $10 gift-card to
Starbucks, knowing she could use the card for tea or one of those
frozen drinks or even, on a decadent day, some of that awesome hot
chocolate. A small amount isn’t insulting, so don’t
worry; any amount at all is appreciated.


And if you want to do a gift card plus something personal,
it’s easy to get creative. For one thing, I mentioned that
Starbucks card with the homemade biscotti, but you can go beyond
that. I found these great href="http://www.delight.com/RuMe-Reusable-Holiday-Gift-Wrap"
target="_blank">reusable gift bags – they’re a
hip, nylon bag rather than the typical paper gift bags, and people
can use them for lunch bags, fruit, shopping errands, and more. Put
a gift card in one of these bags and you’re giving two gifts
in one! If you live near a Whole Foods store, I think they make
great gift certificates because you can get groceries, jewelry,
scented candles, makeup – the options are many and it all
feels a little pampering because it’s an upscale, natural
store.


Next, let’s talk about the food thing. I’ve had a mixed
response on this, so know that up front. On the one hand,
I’ve had teachers beg me to ask people not to give food
– for one thing, they’re simply overloaded with sweets
this time of year, and for another, they may not like what
you’re making (yes, I know your chow-chow is famous, but not
everyone likes it) and will feel bad throwing good food away.


On the other hand, if food is something you’re good at, my
poll says go for it. One girlfriend got an awesome homemade salsa
last year; another received a plate of amazing, home-decorated
sugar cookies. If you make your own jelly, chances are you’ll
have a hit on your hands.


Other great ideas include stationery (put stamps in there and
she’ll like you even more) or even just a nice note telling
the teacher what an impact she’s had on your child this year,
a gift certificate for a free manicure at someplace near the
school, coupons to a movie theatre, that sort of thing. Pampering
without being too specific.


On the down side, here’s a partial list I got of
least-favorite gifts: jewelry (hard to know your teacher’s
taste, even harder to pin it down on your tiny budget), picture
frames (you’d be surprised how many they get), ornaments for
the tree (one teacher said she’s got enough for two trees
now, just from students), and anything scented. I know we all love
to give scented candles or lotions because they seem feminine and
are easy to pick up, but if you don’t know this person well
enough to give them a truly personal gift you probably don’t
know them well enough to pick out their favorite scent. Sorry. I
was also asked to include small decorative items on the
least-favorite list – items like figurines or statues or
somesuch. They do say “thinking of you”, and
that’s nice, but I think the ten bucks on a Ben and Jerrys
gift certificate will probably fit into their house décor
better.


If you’ve given a teacher one of these gifts already this
year, please don’t despair. Teachers are thrilled with any
gift at all, and don’t “hate” any of them –
they simply get overwhelmed sometimes with sheer volume this time
of year, which is why I’m here to help you out.


And finally, think about doing a donation thing. I love a charity
called target="_blank">World Vision, and they’ve got an
amazing “href="http://donate.worldvision.org/OA_HTML/xxwv2ibeCCtpSctDspRte.jsp?go=gift&&section=10024&daniel_prod_ses=ZG7B9E2E4C7E16AC0D3AA347CEA8DB27E1EE50E1588D0641562118036C7936C309DC242C815E3C4B42EABD2D8CEAAC8E04F8EED57B6C100E5AA4EFEE31478EA0F1799D0E4FFE56E453F50BF1CD725B960C716B7748CCBFB11602BD257E93D1AA65B878EBC23256445B90298E4C015D8F76BC5C0B512B5D8D9260EFAF478CAA3423557B6C94575DE6D5E084B06CF8B7F642E4C74825B62E1AFB792D27E3127DC4980ADE512CDD866BD118CBF0BE2AC00B337983309D101A6E9F67B1D4B7856D357DDFACC9A5053991EA7D3A298D9CDC6BD44B66BEFB132C194D41D1B32F9D8498FBC857545D48F414E3934251A857F428D6FE4EDA9E1447AC9DD30A3E2A8EBCF31ADA79949740C7542215AF62EB25F8BA6B6F6F094AC9C65BFCFA8BDD059F1FCD029673E5798A31FE3C9330FBB74EF35945AA7FF43E925E8498495AFAAC2D882B328FCC72E4F238E2B6308643A1E80D04E3D73177734699C69991B96C00291984AC8ACE8A242C63DB9DD2A852F1396A0A30A47BC34979DADB886547B418DC104D889BDAD5B3BD4A66652D3E60A805B701AE"
target="_blank">gift catalog” for Christmas time.
Thirty bucks will buy school supplies for an underprivileged child
here in the U.S. for a whole school year; twenty bucks brings art
and music education to children in countries like El Salvador or
Romania. World Vision will send an awesome gift card explaining
where the money’s going for you to pass on to the gift
recipient, and the entire gift’s tax deductible. I’ve
given these to many people over the years, and have seen people
moved to tears over them. Just something to consider.


So hopefully now you feel a little bit better about the fact that
school’s ending next week and you’re not quite prepared
to say thank-you to the staff - just stop at a favorite store, pick
up a few gift cards, and you're done.


As for everything else on that big to-do list of yours,
you’re on your own.

It seems that clothing designers have
finally figured out that moms can still be cool and funny; for the
past few years I’ve seen a rush of clever slogan t-shirts
aimed at mothers, and have even reviewed a few of my favorites. But
as the market has become saturated, I’ve been turning down
requests to review new products; there simply didn’t seem
anything new out there except more whiney t-shirts hinting at
overburdened, underappreciated mothers, and I couldn’t find a
reason to encourage you to buy them.


A few weeks ago, though, I stumbled across a new line called href="http://mamaismsgear.com/content/"
target="_blank">Mamaisms, and I liked it so much I actually
wrote to them and asked if I could review their shirts. Their
slogan, “Mamaisms: Because the World Needs A Dose Of Common
Sense” resonates with me, the shirts are good quality, and
more important, they put their money where their mouth is.

First, here’s the deal with the
shirts: they’ve got cute but understated slogans that we all
heard growing up but have a deeper layer of social consciousness to
them, such as href="http://mamaismsgear.com/store/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=1&products_id=7"
target="_blank">“Keep It Clean”, href="http://mamaismsgear.com/store/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=1&products_id=18"
target="_blank">“Use Your Words”, and href="http://mamaismsgear.com/store/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=1&products_id=3"
target="_blank">“Do The Right Thing”. The
graphics are cool and modern but not overbearing, and while right
now you can only get short-sleeved, the long-sleeved and tank tops
are coming soon. Check them out, and you’d buy them for the
cuteness factor alone.


But scratch very lightly at the surface of their website and
you’ll quickly learn this company is about more than selling
cool tees. Started by two moms, Mamaisms is committed to ethical
work practices, fair trade, and supporting family charities. Five
percent of all proceeds go to The Child Advocacy Commission and The
Parenting Place. And since their t-shirts are made from
environmentally and ethically sound practices, you realize these
people are practicing what they preach.


I’ve got “Use Your Words” and “Play
Nice”, but am saving up my allowance to go back for the
“Keep It Clean” shirt as well. So if husbands are
casting about for a hint as to what to get you for Mother’s
Day, send them this blog and be done. You’ll look cool and
support a good cause all at the same time. And moms are nothing if
not multitaskers.

I’m always on the lookout for ways
to indulge myself without ingesting either 1) calories or 2)
chemicals of dubious healthfulness (also known as artificial
sweeteners). I recently stumbled across a real winner.


target="_blank">Metromint is a relatively new line of
flavored water that is, as you can guess, variations on mint. Most
flavored waters will have the aforementioned artificial sweeteners,
or at least a modicum of calories, in them, with my favorite href="http://www.drinkhint.com" target="_blank">Hint Water
being a notable exception. But I’ve not found any that
channel my favorite flavor – chocolate.

I was cruising the local market a couple
weeks ago when I stumbled across Metromint, and I was interested
enough to shuffle through all the flavors: peppermint, spearmint,
lemon mint, orange mint, and – hold the phone –
chocolate mint.


What can I say? I threw a bottle or six in the shopping cart.


I’m rarely able to nap these days – the girls’
naps don’t line up, or there’s simply too much to do.
And with Cora still an all-night party animal I find myself
dragging in the afternoon. So my reward now for not napping is to
crack open a bottle of the stuff. The mint is naturally
rejuvenating, and the chocolate is way better for my waistline (and
my moodswings) than an actual bar of chocolate (sorry, Jacques
Torres. I still love you.) The runner-up flavor for me is the
orange mint; fruity and fresh and sweet. And as a side note,
I’m guessing any of the mint flavors would be incredibly
helpful for morning sickness while pregnant.


But hands down, the chocolate mint does it for me. If I close my
eyes, the chocolate mint flavor tastes a bit like Girl Scout Thin
Mint cookies. Who wouldn’t want a piece of that every
day?

As I explained yesterday, I’ve
discovered a gaping hole in the chocolate world – an
unexplored area, if you will. Specifically, no one had really
delved into the world of chocolate from the point of view of a
pregnant or post-partum mommy.


As we all know, we’ve got specific cravings and wants when
the hormones are raging. So I made it my mission to find the best
of the best from small chocolatiers all across the country. For
more details on my criteria and how I narrowed the final list down,
see yesterday’s blog. But for now, let’s get to the
chocolate.

By the by, feel free to email this entry
to your spouse as the holiday shopping season starts, or simply
print and tape it up on your fridge to remind you that some
chocolate bliss is never more than a mouse click away.


So without further ado, here are my recommendations, in no
particular order. Enjoy in good health. And if you contact any of
these stores, tell them Jennifer sends a fond hello. And for the
record, did you know that a recent study showed that pregnant women
who ate chocolate every day had babies who cried less during their
first year of life? Food for thought . . .


href="http://www.yummiecookies.com">Yummie This place is
everything the name implies. I list it first because it makes no
pretence at being a superior bar of chocolate from some remote
cocoa bean in the Amazon. No, this online store simply comes up
with candy combinations that fit pregnant women to a
“t”. Conceived and run by a fellow mom, Yummie tickles
all your craving spots. Sweet? Salty? Crunchy? Smooth? It’s
covered. Now, I’ve sampled most of her line (the sacrifice, I
know) and I can tell you that my all-time favorites as a pregnant
woman were her Peel ‘Em Pretzel Rods – two pretzel
sticks wrapped in caramel, chocolate, peanut butter, and heath
– and her Squirrel Stash – a ball of popcorn, caramel,
peanut butter, and dark chocolate. Trust me: head to the website
and your eyes will tell you what you want.


Legacy
Chocolates A small chocolate store in Menomonie Wisconsin,
I stumbled upon this site by accident and have already sent a
half-dozen people there. The selection is small and choice –
they do truffles, and do them incredibly well. You can choose your
chocolate “strength” – everything from milk to
very very dark. The fillings are made from the freshest, highest
quality ingredients and it shows. Their href="http://legacychocolates.com/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=30">
mint truffle really hit the spot for me. They use only fair
trade cocoa beans and since their truffles are not made with any
preservatives, the box is shipped to you with an impressive
cold-pack inside. The store suggests you refrigerate the truffles,
but they won’t be around long enough to need it. Reasonably
priced, they make an excellent gift and can compete against any
famous chocolate company. I mean it.


href="http://www.chocolatebarnyc.com">Chocolate Bar –
this New York City store pulled together the best chocolate chefs
in the area and stocked their store with some amazing creations.
It’s hard to go wrong here, but a couple things really stand
out from the hormonal aspect: First, their Atomic
Collection. Listen, you’ll love it. It sort of looks like
a chocolate-covered oreo, but it’s a chocolate cookie with
some sort of filling. My favorite is the Black and White –
homemade marshmallow, caramel, and graham covered in dark
chocolate. My girlfriend Renee loved the Elvis – homemade
banana marshmallow and crunchy peanut butter – while another
favorite is the PB&J (you can guess on that one). Hands down my
favorite part of their store. But they’ve also got an
incredibly good toffee – tied, in fact, for first place with
another store listed further down. And the store owner, a mom
herself, said a lot of pregnant women who come in the store crave
their Peanut Butter Caramel Retro Bar (I personally can’t
stay away from their Malted Milk Retro Bar). You try for yourself
and decide.


The Cocoa
Tree A small selection of unusual truffle flavors
guaranteed to hit the spot, from a small store in Franklin,
Tennessee. Many are liqueur-filled, so talk to your OB before
eating or save them for post-partum weep-fests. I love the Irish
Cream and the Jack and Ginger. But even better than their truffles
is their href="http://www.thecocoatree.com/index.php?cPath=22_46">toffee,
tied with the Chocolate Bar above for first place (and I know good
toffee). Rich and buttery and simply perfect.

href="http://www.normanloveconfections.com/index.htm">Norman
Love A client of mine first told me about this confectioner
from Florida. With no stores outside their hometown of Ft. Myers, I
thought I’d be destined to mail-order with them. Lucky me, I
stayed in a hotel on vacation that served Norman Love exclusively.
Rough life. Every single truffle is a work of art, and
they’ve got some incredible taste combinations. target="_blank"
href="http://www.normanloveconfections.com/darkchocolate-tropical.htm">
Tropical was a favorite of mine, though the target="_blank"
href="http://www.normanloveconfections.com/whitechocolate-pinklemonade.htm">
Pink Lemonade and href="http://www.normanloveconfections.com/whitechocolate-keylimepie.htm">
Key Lime Pie were huge on my list when newly pregnant. Tops
with them for me, though, was the mochachino, which I don’t
seem to be able to find on their website. Start a petition.


Jacques
Torres Finally, no chocolate list of mine would be complete
without my gold standard, my favorite man (other than my husband),
the guy I fondly refer to as “J.T.” Like we’re
best friends. Quite simply, he does the best quality chocolate
I’ve found. I’ve got a bar of his 72% house blend dark
chocolate in my bag for emergencies. Think I’m kidding?? He
makes all my favorites – the wicked hot chocolate
(French-style hot cocoa with a peppery kick to it), the passion
fruit truffle, you name it, I’ll eat it. Coincidentally, he
makes a mean chocolate chip cookie; anytime I’m in the store
I’ll buy a few and freeze them for later. Several of my
friends swear by his pistachio or macadamia brittle. While
pregnant, check out his chocolate-covered apricots; I found them
last pregnancy and thought he made them just for me – and
I’m not a chocolate and fruit kind of girl. He also makes my
favorite chocolate peanut butter bar. And as a bonus for kiddies,
this genius does chocolate-covered cheerios. Seriously, I love the
guy.


So that’s my list. I’ve got other favorite chocolate
houses here in Manhattan – Richart, La Maison Du Chocolat,
Max Brenner, Lilac, to name a few – but I wasn’t
searching simply for superior chocolate.


I wanted someone who understood a hormonal woman’s itch, and
was willing to scratch it.


If you’ve got favorites, by all means, post below –
I’m always looking to expand my waistline – er-
horizons.

We’ve spent most of the week talking
about holiday gift ideas – shopping suggestions for both mom
and baby (and the occasional Dad gift thrown in as well!)


But what do you do if the holidays are breathing down your neck,
and the wallet’s a bit empty? Or where do you turn for gift
ideas for the family that truly has everything? Let’s dig
in.

First off, let me say that homegrown
gifts, whether they’re something homemade or a gift of time
or talent, are some of my favorite gifts to get. So don’t be
shy, and don’t feel bad if you’re turning crafty this
season. Second, I use the word “crafty” with great
trepidation. This blog isn’t about becoming Martha Stewart;
you won’t find any 12-page instructions for making pom-pom
snowmen. If you’re that kind of crafty, you don’t need
my blog. Head off to Hobby Lobby, and God Bless you.


But if you’re not a natural homemade gift kind of person and
you’re searching for creative ideas, I can help.


When trying to stay in the “low-to-free” cost range,
don’t pretend you’re giving something “just like
store-bought”. Your sister won’t love the sweater you
made because it looks like the one she saw in Bloomingdale’s;
she’ll love it because you made it. So think about areas of
your life that are meaningful to you, areas you like sharing with
other people, for gift inspirations. The other place to turn for
giving ideas is the person you are giving to – what do you
have to offer that’s unique, personal, and will help that
person out a lot in a way a new wine-bottle-opener never will?


It’s no secret that I love to cook. No, wait, scratch that. I
like to cook, and I LOVE to bake. So every year I bake a kitchenful
of goodies to give to our friends. Jelly we’ve made over the
year, candy and cookies for those with sweet tooths, chex mixes or
nut mixes for those with salty tooths, I make something for
everyone and everyone at least pretends to like it.


If you want to go beyond that, though, I’ve got you covered.
A friend of mine always appreciates it when I present her with a
batch of her favorite cookie dough in a tub, frozen and ready to
cook at a moment’s notice. This is also a great gift for moms
who don’t have a lot of time for bake sales! And if you want
to get more practical than desserts, give a friend who is either
time- or cooking-challenged a subscription to the “casserole
of the month” club. Once a month, make double for your
evening meal, freeze half, and deliver. She’ll pop it in the
oven when she needs a last-minute life-saver and be grateful every
time.


Still along the cooking lines, you can pull together a family
recipe book. Ask everyone to give their favorite or famous recipes,
type them up, and laminate. If you’re not lucky enough (a
tragedy, in my obsessive-compulsive mind) to have a laminator, head
to Office Depot where they’ll laminate and ring-bind the
whole thing for a couple bucks. You’ll have a splatter-proof
recipe book to give everyone, a gift they’ll use again and
again.


Now that I mention it, there’s not a lot you can’t do
with a laminator. Put together a photo collage of long-distance
relatives, laminate, and baby’s got an instant placemat. Or
laminate individual photos, bind, and you’ve created a cheap
brag book for a grandparent. The world is your laminating oyster!


By far, though, the best gift you can give a fellow parent is the
gift of time. Give a friend a coupon for babysitting and a bottle
of wine, and they have an instant date night. If you’ve got a
friend who’s expecting, give coupons for free
“laundry” service – pick up, wash, and return
within 24 hours. She’ll be hysterical with gratitude when the
time comes. The bottom line is, you don’t have to spend money
to give someone a meaningful gift they’ll really appreciate.


If all the talk of gift-giving makes you feel too crass and
commercial and you’re still searching for a way to
“gift” the friend who has everything, there’s a
great solution – charitable giving.


Now I know a lot of you are rolling your eyes right now, but hear
me out. No one likes to give to charity as a gift because the
person has nothing to unwrap; it’s so intangible, and often
sounds like a cheesy copout. But you can find some charities that
will either have a lot of meaning to your friend, or will show
tangible results for your financial donation.


My all-time favorite charity for gift donations is target="_blank" href="http://www.worldvision.org">World
Vision. They’re a Christian relief and development
organization dedicated to helping children and their communities
worldwide reach their full potential by tackling the causes of
poverty. World Vision helps children and families in poverty
regardless of their religious beliefs, and comes into the
communities in a very grass-roots way. They dig wells, build
schools, provide seeds and teach people to farm, and so on.


One of the coolest things about this organization is their
“href="http://donate.wvus.org/OA_HTML/xxwvibeCCtpSctDspRte.jsp?section=10024">
gift catalog”. You can go in and decide exactly
how your money’s going to be spent, which means you can
tailor your gift to suit the person on whose behalf you’re
donating. Have a friend who’s a doctor? Donate target="_blank"
href="http://donate.wvus.org/OA_HTML/xxwvibeCCtpSctDspRte.jsp?section=10055&xxwvNavItemId=6">
infant immunizations for one child. Give your
child’s teacher a href="http://donate.wvus.org/OA_HTML/xxwvibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?section=10056&item=238">
backpack full of school supplies for a child in poverty.
Know someone who loves to garden? Donatehref="http://donate.wvus.org/OA_HTML/xxwvibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?section=10120&item=1445806">
farming tools – plus the training to use them. The
gift recipient will receive a gift card explaining exactly where
the financial gift is going and what it’s doing. I’ve
never failed to see the recipient truly touched by the gift.


You can, of course, go to any charitable organization to give.
There are some wonderful ones out there that help new moms in
poverty, inner city school kids, and more – simply look to
where your passion (or that of your friend’s) lies and go
from there.


The bottom line is that you don’t have to spend a fortune to
give gifts that will be truly meaningful, and you don’t have
to fill someone’s house up with what will quickly become next
year’s clutter.


Think outside the box.

As we continue this week’s series on
holiday shopping, I’m turning our attention beyond the toy
stores today; for toy recommendations see yesterday’s blog.


Toys are always appreciated (especially by the kids themselves!),
but there are other options out there that are fun, useful, and
don’t take up so much precious square footage.

First is the obvious – cute
clothing. Every new parent starts out deluged with adorable onesies
and tiny dresses and overalls, but the older the baby gets the
slower the trickle of clothing coming in. So clothing –
especially well-made, sturdy clothing – is always appreciated
if researched well. By that, I simply mean check on sizes;
don’t assume the size is the child’s age – ask
the parent. And make sure you have a feel for the family’s
taste on clothing: a leopard-print outfit for a little girl who
only wears red will not be a huge hit. Likewise, dressy clothes are
cute but less useful than, say, a couple sets of Carters outfits
with inter-matching onesies.


But the holidays are also a time to have a bit of fun and get items
parents can’t themselves justify, so now’s the time to
indulge in those saucy-slogan onesies and cute tees. My favorite
stores for these kinds of things include href="http://www.theretrobaby.com">The Retro Baby target="_blank" href="http://www.babesta.com">Babesta
(check out the Space Baby line), href="https://cipher.secure-orders.net/uncommon/idevaffiliate/idevaffiliate.php?id=131">
Uncommonly Cute (Word to Big Bird!), href="http://www.artypants.biz">Arty Pants (target="_blank" href="http://www.artypants.biz/bnbwear.htm">What
Happens At Grandma’s, Stays At Grandma’s), and
Tot
Shop. You’re sure to find something cute and original
at one of those stores.


If you’re not sure quite what you’re looking for, check
out My
Retro Baby for vintage-inspired baby gear with a modern
twist. Or take some time to browse through href="http://ww9.aitsafe.com/go.htm?go=www.mom4life.com&afid=11509&tm=30&im=3">
Mom 4 Life one of my favorite online stores filled with
thoughtfully selected items for mom and baby. They’ve got a
href="http://www.mom4life.com/catalog.php?item=202&catid=5&ret=catalog.php%3Fcategory%3D5">
down-filled sleep sack that I’d have snatched up
if I’d seen it before they sold out last year. Washable, no
less. If you’re looking for a more modern sensibility, target="_blank"
href="http://store.yahoo.com/cgi-bin/clink?sparkability+PP3pny+index.html+">
Sparkability has choice toys and gear with clean lines
and reasonable prices.


Now let’s talk about going off the map a bit here.
There’s nothing wrong with buying something that’s not
been specifically requested, as long as you think through the gift
first. Please don’t buy something for a friend as your subtle
way of trying to impose your baby-rearing values on her; giving a
co-sleeper to a friend who’s Ferberizing is not helpful, for
example. And before you buy DVDs for the baby, make sure the
parents are allowing the baby or toddler to watch television.
(Along those lines, most parents I know appreciate it if you check
in with them before buying a bunch of “character” stuff
– Thomas the Tank, Dora, etc.) Likewise, books that have
helped you are great to pass on to a new mom as long as they
don’t come with hidden criticisms. Giving your girlfriend target="_blank"
href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?link_code=ur2&tag=1mother2anoth-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&path=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F0452285801%2Fref%3Dase_1mother2anoth-20%3Fs%3Dbooks%26v%3Dglance%26n%3D283155%26tagActionCode%3D1mother2anoth-20">
The Womanly Art Of Breastfeeding when she’s
in the process of switching her 6-week-old over to formula so she
can go back to work is not appropriate! Passing on a general
reference book, like href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?link_code=ur2&tag=1mother2anoth-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&path=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F1889392200%2Fqid%3D1139195724%2Fsr%3D2-1%2Fref%3Dpd_bbs_b_2_1%3Fs%3Dbooks%26v%3Dglance%26n%3D283155">
Baby 411 is fine. And lastly on the subject of
books, I think the book I reviewed recently – target="_blank"
href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FFrantic-Womans-Feeding-Family-Friends%2Fdp%2F0446696234%2Fsr%3D8-1%2Fqid%3D1163557096%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks&tag=1mother2anoth-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325">
The Frantic Woman’s Guide to Feeding Family and
Friends – is a great gift if it’s to a
close friend that won’t read anything into it, like
“You don’t know how to cook!” I found it to be an
easy, helpful book for moms trying to get ahead of the family meal
dilemma.


If you’ve got a favorite piece of baby gear, by all means
pass it on – just don’t be offended if it doesn’t
work for the next family. Something like the href="http://www.tubbybundle.com/">Tubby Bundle may be
your best friend at bath time but seem superfluous to your
girlfriend. And I’m happy to give a href="http://www.mom4life.com/catalog.php?item=96&catid=5&ret=catalog.php%3Fcategory%3D5">
Lovey if I think the family’s open to that sort of
comfort object, but can’t take it personally if Baby
doesn’t bond with it the way Maddie did.


Top of Maddie’s list for any gift-giving occasion is books.
And books. And books. Kiddo’s got quite the library, and she
reads through all of them. If you’re bewildered about
what’s age appropriate, find a knowledgeable sales person.
Newborns are happy for you to read them the phone book; we started
collecting picture books early on. As Maddie became more involved,
we moved to board books – easier for her to turn the page
– and soft books with pages that crinkle and so forth.
We’re back to the classic picture books and Little Golden
Books, but every child’s different. At a store like Barnes
and Noble, they have a whole section of award-winning books, so
it’ll be hard to come up with a clunker. In general, Sandra
Boynton, Eric Carle, and Charles Fuge are authors who are hard to
hate; check out my href="http://www.1mother2another.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=14&Itemid=34#top">
Top 5s Page for specific recommendations.


Finally, think about the intangible gifts you can give, tailored to
the specific family. A family membership to the zoo is a fantastic
gift, one they’ll get miles out of all year long. Tuition at
a toddler music class like href="http://www.musictogether.com/">Music Together is a
wonderful grandparent gift if the family shows interest in
something like that. You get the drift!


So remember – you don’t have to buy out FAO Schwarz to
give a great gift to a friend, and there’s more you can put
on baby’s Christmas list than the TMX Elmo.


Tomorrow, we’re going to talk about ways to give if
you’re flat-out broke, as well as what to give the family who
has everything.

Some of you may be puzzled that I’m
starting off the article series on holiday shopping with
suggestions for you, but let’s face it: once baby shows up,
you move from being the center of attention to the Glorified Diaper
Bag Carrier. So let’s give ourselves some front-and-center
time!

Obviously, I can’t make personalized
suggestions for you all as to what you’d most like to see
under your tree. I’d say that you should make it clear to
your loved ones if you don’t want anything mommy- or
baby-related, or you may end up with a stocking full of Buy Buy
Baby gift cards. But speaking as a pregnant mommy with a toddler at
home, I enjoy a bit of mommy-related gifts. And of course, I love
clothes. So I’m listing my favorite sites to find pregnancy
and post-partum clothing that goes beyond practicals, beyond Gap
Maternity, beyond those comfortable, “useful” black
pants that grow with you and go with anything. Want maternity
clothing recommendations in general? Check my href="http://www.1mother2another.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=14&Itemid=34">
Top 5s Page.

If you’re pregnant, you’re in
luck. There’ s never been such a huge assortment of cute,
tongue-in-cheek clothing for moms-to-be as there is now. My
favorites:

href="http://www.2chix.com">2 Chix Definitely my
favorite pregnancy t-shirt site. I love the tee that says,
“We’re Hungry”; I also get a lot of wear out of
“Babyfat”. The tops are all soft, high-quality thin
cotton, fitted in a one-size-fits-most way that covers size 0
through about 10 or 12. Tank tops are high enough neck-wise to
avoid too much pregnancy cleavage. I promise, you’ll love
their stuff. Bonus: great daddy shirts too, such as “The Man
Behind the Belly” (Brian’s favorite) and “My Boys
Can Swim!”

Other cute tops from different stores:

href="http://www.hipandlittle.com/catalog.php?item=124&catid=43&ret=catalog.php%3Fcategory%3D43">
“I Am Not Buddha, Please Do Not Rub My
Belly” How much can you relate to this shirt?? Two
things I know are true – first, if I’d have known about
this shirt my first pregnancy, I’d have worn a hole in it.
Second, it’s on my Christmas list.

href="http://www.trimestertees.com">Trimester Tees I
think my favorite one here is “Kill For Coffee”. The
great thing about this site is the ability to choose your own type
of top, favorite slogan, and t-shirt color. Practically custom-made
for you!

href="http://www.crybabymaternity.com/products/morning_sickness_ss.php">
“Morning Sickness: Making Hangovers Seem
Pleasant” If you’re a nine-months-of-nausea
type of gal, this top’s for you.

Now if you’re post-partum,
don’t despair. A few places out there make tops just for you
as well.

Top of my list (and already worn half to
shreds) is the href="http://www.timeoutspot.com/time-out-tshirt-shop.html">“Mommy
Needs A Time Out” t-shirt. A fitted ringer t-shirt
made with just a few crystals on it to raise the shirt from just a
slogan tee, it’s the top that gets me stopped wherever I go.
I made a point to wear it whenever I flew and needed to warn flight
attendants there was a baby nearby, and when I needed to warn Brian
I was having a bad day. Can’t wait to fit into it again.

href="http://www.planetmomtshirts.com/">Planet Mom With
a huge array of sarcastic mommy slogans, this site’s got you
covered. My favorites are href="http://www.planetmomtshirts.com/nannydeprived1.html">“Nanny
Deprived” and href="http://www.planetmomtshirts.com/whinenowineyes.html">“Whine?
No. Wine? Yes.”


I know there are a ton of additional sites out there, but these are
my favorites. If you’ve got a great one that I haven’t
listed, please post it so everyone knows!


Tomorrow, we turn our attention baby-wards.

I’ve been so hesitant to say anything, but it looks as if my daughter’s settling into a good, predictable nap every day.

The hesitancy is two-pronged: one, you hate to rub a consistent nap into another mommy’s face.

And two, Maddie might hear me and decide to punish me for being complacent – say, by taking the naptime away from me. 

Throughout her first year of life, Maddie was a pretty terrible napper. She’d settle into a routine of naps, but they were always a frustrating half hour at best. No matter what I did, when they fell, or how often they occurred during the day, it was thirty minutes and up again. I had the occasional stroke of good luck  but those were maybe three times (no kidding) her whole first year.

As we went from three naps a day to two to one, I despaired of the nap time ever lengthening. But around her first birthday the one-nap-a-day began to lengthen out by 15-minute increments. Her current nap length is generally 1 hour 45 minutes to 2 hours.

TWO HOURS!!!! TWO HOURS!!!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO IN TWO UNINTERRUPTED HOURS!!!!

YES!!! TAKE YOUR OWN NAP!!!!!

Seriously, I do snatch the occasional nap, but I’m still too untrusting of the nap length to relax since I’m certain she’ll wake right after I fall into a deep REM sleep. Instead I cook, pay bills, even (gasp) exercise occasionally. Last week I got all the way through my one-hour yoga video for the first time since Maddie was born. I was stunned when the guy sat down on the mat to meditate and the camera panned back, serene music playing while credits rolled by. Wow. The actual end.

I can’t claim much credit for Madeleine’s extended naps; I think it’s just a natural aging thing. I can say, though, that we’ve got a few tricks up our sleeve that seem to make her content to spend more time in her crib.

First, she’s got some trusty friends in there, and she loves chatting with them after she wakes up in the morning or after her nap. Her beloved panda sits by her head, her snuggle bear’s tucked on the other side, and ‘Raffe’s at her feet where she can crawl down and talk to him about giraffe stuff. We didn’t add stuffed friends to her crib until she was at least six or seven months old because of SIDS concerns, but they are fast friends now and have to travel wherever she sleeps.

Second, she is, as you know, a girl who loves her pampering, and we recently were sent a blanket that’s sent her over the moon. So forgive me as I go a bit off-topic here –

This gift was made by The Blankee Company  and if you’re looking for a luxurious blanket that’ll last forever, stop looking now. It’s a great size for a baby and toddler, has the wide satin trim they love so much, and has a yummy plush on one side while the other side’s a faux suede that feels awesome. The best part about it, of course, is that it’s totally machine washable. If she’d had this as a newborn it would’ve been where she spent all her tummy time, and that’s pointless unless you can throw the spit-up – covered blanket in the wash. Great colors, great service, and run by a mom, so if a family member’s looking to get you that “keepsake” item, send them to this website. Pronto.

So Madeleine’s been napping beneath her faux-suede blanket – the kid has a better-dressed bed than I do! – and I see her sigh contentedly and grab an edge when she snuggles at the beginning of a nap. She usually ends up on top of it, which is fine with her since she loves making a snow angel on the soft fabric. Add to this her faithful silky  and she’s in sensory hog heaven.

Another thing that I believe has helped her nap length is the window treatment. My girlfriend Renee and her mom recently sewed blackout material into baby girl’s curtains for her (aren’t my girlfriends the best?), and the room is now a cool dark cave without any of that hot, pesky sun coming in.

And lastly for the Items That Encourage A Long Sleep, we’ve got the gift of summer and its required use of the air conditioner.

God bless white noise.

I’m hoping that by the time the a/c gets turned off she’ll be settled into her nap and not need the extra noise. But if not, don’t judge me if I end up cranking the heat in the house so I can turn on the a/c in her room every nap period.

Trust me, she’s much more fun to be around if she’s had that long nap.

And come to think of it, so am I.

Fear not, gentlemen, the deadline for coming up with a brilliant Christmas present has not yet passed you by.  There’s still time to run out and grab a gift that will dazzle your wife and bring her to incoherent cries of joy.

The miracle product?  A home laminating machine.

I asked for (and got!) a laminating machine for my birthday, which makes me very happy.  I can name dozens of uses off the top of my head, but will content myself with just a few:

1. Recipe cards.  Haven’t got time to write out that tattered cookie recipe you ripped out of “Good Housekeeping” five years ago?  Slide that puppy on through the machine and it’s good for twenty years.  Or type up an old family favorite on your computer, laminate, have a go with the three-hole punch, and give as a gift to some worthy cook.
2. The effluvia of mommydom that you can’t bear to part with but is too fragile for its current filing system (also known as the kitchen junk drawer!) – first report cards, artwork, homemade birthday cards with the glitter clinging precariously to the construction paper, etc.
3. Family photos you want to display long-term.  A friend of mine once printed photos of all her friends, laminated them, punched holes and passed ribbon through the tops to make ornaments.  I swear, I’m not Holly Homemaker here – I’m Lucy Lazy, and I’d rather laminate some 4x6s than slave over some glass glue and leftover chandelier crystals to make a precious homemade ornament for a dear friend.  Though I’ll confess I did the leftover crystals thing one year out of curiosity.
4. This is a serious one – before Maddie was born and I got my own laminator, I printed up a few copies of emergency numbers such as doctor, poison control, etc.  I took the lists to Staples and for a grand total of about $4 had them laminated.  They now reside by telephones and in the diaper bag, impervious to spilled baby food jars and leaky diapers.

One caveat –don’t try to laminate your sonogram of the little peanut.  I took mine to Staples and was warned by the tech that thermographed copies don’t laminate, and you’d lose anything on the paper.  So don’t even try it!

What’s got me riding on this train of thought?  I’m working in the family room and keep catching glimpses of my laminator.  I’m longing to crack it open and give it a go but I’ve got miles to go before I sleep tonight and fun with hot sheets of plastic isn’t one of the pit stops.

No, I’m not turning Mama Rose on you; I don’t have any suggestions for the next American Baby Idol auditions.

But I do have a great holiday gift suggestion.  I promised you earlier you'd benefit from the fruits of my labor, and this one is a whopper.

My husband Brian’s a big astronomy buff; he’s already telling Madeleine about the telescope they’ll buy when she’s older, and all the stars she’ll see when we visit my grandparents’ farm.  If you’ve got a youngster (or a spouse for that matter!) who’s interested in space, this is the gift for them.

At International Star Registry, you can name an actual star.  This isn’t like real estate on the moon; it’s a legitimate site and your star’s name will be put in the books.  You’ll get a certificate of authenticity, a book giving you your star’s co-ordinates, and more.  It’s a great gift for someone who has everything, and a perfect present for the procrastinating shoppers out there!

Imagine, pointing up to the night sky one night, and saying, “That’s the Madeleine star, right there.”

You’re looking at your Christmas shopping list, trying to decide what to get everyone.  As you work, you glance over to your sleeping cherub.  Was there ever such a beautiful baby?  Back to your list: what could you give people that would bring them real joy?  Back to Cherub: who can resist that face?

And so, just as chocolate and peanut butter collided to bring us Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups, your shopping list somehow seamlessly merges with your desire to stare at Cherub’s face for hours at a time.  Pictures of Baby for everyone this year!  Who wouldn’t love it?

Because photos aren’t in themselves bad gifts.  Many relatives who don’t live nearby would love the chance to gaze regularly on their grandchild/nephew/cousin.  The trick is to put the photo on something they’ll actually use.  As I approach Madeleine’s first Christmas, I’m eagerly scouring the Internet for cool, usable stuff on which to plaster her smiling visage.  I’ve come up with a few great sites, which I’m happy to pass on to you.

If Café Press doesn’t do it for you, there are several photo shops online that do basically the same thing, but I’ve searched a few of them for some more original photo gifts.  At Kodak Gallery, you can turn your photo into playing cards, a photo canvas, or a jigsaw puzzle.  Snapfish offers the same, as well as throw blankets, baby bibs, cutting boards (!!) and more. 

The holidays are rapidly gaining momentum and I’m becoming a wee bit scared.  I mean, I knew this year would be different from every other thus far; I knew all my elaborate cookie decorating, our 80+ person Christmas party, our constant entertaining would be severely curtailed.

But I didn’t quite understand I’d have to give up the shopping thing.

I confess it – I love to shop.  Not in that, “I’m so unhappy and need a pair of Manolos” type of way, but in a sort of “I think I’ll wander around SoHo to see what strikes my fancy for Uncle So-and-So” kind of way.  I love heading out with a vague idea of things to buy and people for whom I’m shopping, and simply spend hours looking around and buying.  Brian hates it.  He’s a take a list, get in, get it, get out, and no one gets hurt kinda guy.

And it’s not that I’m not organized, or don’t plan ahead.  I have an entire notebook dedicated just to gift-giving, where I jot down items I buy for people throughout the year so I don’t forget I’ve got them squirreled away when their birthday comes.  I love buying something for my dad in August that I won’t give him until November (birthday) or December (Christmas).  Many times in years past, I’d teach an early shift then shop the rest of the day away, coming home late with my arms laden with bags.  There’s something inherently satisfying about seeing the items piling up, the treasure troves of gifts to be handed out, things that weren’t on any list, which I picked out on my own.

This year, unfortunately, there’s no stroller under-basket big enough to fool me into thinking I can tackle the New York crowds at Bloomie’s.  Plus there’s the fact that Madeleine would tolerate about, oh, twenty minutes of the throng of shoppers before stating her desire to go to a more quiet place.  Loudly.  So I’ve resigned myself to doing the bulk of my shopping online, which means I’ve got to know what I’m looking for before I go.  How can I get inspired by using a search engine?  Can’t be done.

So I’m panicking a bit; I hate having to use someone’s wish list like a grocery list, checking items off and getting nothing more.  I’ve got several friends who’ve become new parents like us this year and I dislike being in a city of such originality and resorting to Gapkids Online.

I refuse to succumb!  I’ll be scouring the web over the next few days, plumbing the depths of the Internet as I look for things that are original, cute, reasonably priced, and oh yes, can be delivered by UPS.  So stay tuned; rest assured that I’ll be passing on any great sites I find.

Does anyone else tip their UPS guy at the end of the year?  Seeing as how we’re on a first-name basis . . .